You Da Man, Rick...

My friend Rick sends me a lot of jokes about men vs. women. Most of these, I discard. (Sorry, Rick...) I don’t know where he gets this stuff. Someone is feeding him A Lot of forwarded information. Anyway, The Man Song gave me a chuckle because I know a few husbands who’ve been singing it for years. (I like to think Chris isn’t one of them.)

Also, in case you’ve pondered the “Why Are Men Happier?” question, Rick’s got the answers:

"Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000; tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

And, finally, chocolate is just another snack."

7 comments:

Squiggle said...

All true statements, but I have a counter point: women mature far quicker than men. I'd conservatively estimate 5~7 yrs before guys fully catch up. This coming from your 21 year old newphew...

Robyn said...

Sorry Izzy...I'm not convinced y'all ever catch up.

Rick said...

Hey, I do what I can. Trust me, I filter out most messages as not to offend! I only send a couple few. Rest assured that the ones that you receive are pure quality.

By the way, we are not racing here. Catch up? Just give us our space to work on the things you women break. Oh yeah, and don't try to fix the things you break, either. When you hand it over to us, we don't need supervision nor directions. Just bring us a beer now and then. Please?

Robyn said...

This from a man who's perpetually single....

And we don't break anything except men's hearts. The rest you guys are pretty good at screwing up on your own. :)

rick said...

Perpetually nothin. Been in current relationship for a long time. For me.

Robyn said...

True, true. Hey, speakin' of that ... what's Devon's number? I'd love to chat with her.......

rick said...

oh good.