The Blame Game

So, my right shoulder has been aching like a sonofabitch all week (radiating down the right side of my back and across my shoulder blade), and the blame lies squarely with West Texas singer Robert Earl Keen.

Because if he wasn't around, then the brilliant little redneck holiday ditty "Merry Christmas From the Family" wouldn't have been written, or sung, or become wildly popular at our house several years ago.

And if the song hadn't been so regularly played at our holiday parties, then my friend BJ wouldn't have gone out and found it as a CD single that came with a picture book and a recipe for the infamous "champagne punch" mentioned in the tune.

And if the recipe hadn't come into contact with my champagne-lovin' hands, I wouldn't have made a double batch for our New Year's Eve party on Dec. 31, 2003.

And then I wouldn't have guzzled several glasses of it.

And then I wouldn't have been too tipsy to realize that just because we happened upon a live band playing swing at a swanky bar downtown in the wee hours of New Year's morning, it didn't mean I should hit the dance floor.

And then I wouldn't have, literally, hit the dance floor. And the corner of a table on the way down.

And then I wouldn't have ended up in the ER at 3 a.m. on Jan. 1, 2004 (talk about a buzzkill), getting an X-ray and a sling for my separated shoulder, along with some mild narcotics to ease the pain that I would eventually feel with considerable force once the champagne buzz really wore off.

And now, four and a half years later, all it takes is for me to swing my 20-pound baby up into my arms in a certain way, rotating that damn shoulder just so, and the pain is back. Without the champagne buzz.

Damn that Robert Earl Keen.

Incidentally, the Champagne Punch recipe is seriously outstanding. Just don't drink and swing.

Champagne Punch
1/2 cup light rum
1/2 cup dark rum
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cup orange juice
1 cup pineapple juice
1/2 cup sugar
2 bottles champagne
fresh fruit slices (lemon, lime, orange, whatever you've got)

Mix everything but the champagne; chill. Right before serving, add the champagne and stir.


Kim Lionetti said...

My whole life I'll regret not being there to see that infamous dance move... I mean, so I could've helped you, of course!

Kate O. said...

Ahhh, I'd never have pictured you as one of THOSE people who ended up in the ER on new years, LOL!

Heather said...

I know your pain. Oh, how I know your pain.

Paul L. said...

New Year's Eve accidents...reminds me of December 31st, 1991. Ok...I felt about a 100 years old as I typed that. collar bone still doesn't feel quite right. :)

Sheila said...

Is this "Paul L." as in Chewie???? (oh, and thanks for the punch recipe Rob and sorry 'bout the shoulder)

Paul L. said...

You bet...the one and only. :) How are things Sheila?

Paul L. said...

Sheila & Robyn - I put links to your blogs on my own.

Hope things are cool!
- Chew

Robyn said...

Ah, Chew, the memories of that '91 event will be with me always. That was the only other time I found myself at a hospital on New Year's morning.

What made us believe "skating" on Knickerbocker's frozen pool was a good idea? Oh yeah. All that booze....