Soy Mocha Guy


While running some errands this afternoon, I pulled through a drive-through coffee joint (not Starbucks) at my husband’s request. I was asked to bring him a mocha. As soon as I ordered it — “I’d like a medium decaf mocha with soy, no whip, please” — the young woman’s face lit up.

“I know who this is for,” she practically purred, all smiles.

Huh.

As she rang me up: “Ya know, we finally got him to tell us where he works, so I told him I’d be scouring the Gazette for errors from now on.”

Huh.

As she poured the drink: “Um, what’s his name? We’re gonna be starting a ‘Customer of the Month’ thing, that’ll give him discounts and stuff for that month, and we’ll put his picture up, and we’ve been trying to figure out the names of all our favorite customers. We only know him as Soy Mocha Guy.”

Huh. I’m married to Soy Mocha Guy.

I recently discovered how often he’s been running by this place to get what appears to be his signature drink, which I found funny, mostly because people I know who frequent coffee joints usually are jonesing for caffeine and need their daily fix to fend off headaches and sleepiness and life without a chemical dependence. But Soy Mocha Guy has been off caffeine for over a year now. He doesn’t even really like soy milk all that much.

Huh.

Is it wrong that, because the giggling girls there weren’t attractive, I found the whole thing quite amusing? If they’d been little hotties, would I be having a talk with Soy Mocha Guy about his newfound habit, and his new chatty little fans? Perhaps.

I wonder if anyone's ever referred to me as Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard Girl. Maybe I should have Chris head to the DQ drive-through and find out...

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm known as Chicken Bacon Ranch Wrap at the local Subway.

Robyn said...

And what's your real name, Chicken Bacon Ranch Wrap?

Maestra said...

You didn't tell me it was soy mochas! Off to begin printing multiple articles detailing the huge negative health effects of soy....

Tara said...

Chris has adoring minions. :)

Anonymous said...

So it's OK for Chris to be only be friendly with non-attractive people during the course of his day? Hmmm.

Robyn said...

Yes, that's what I'm saying. ;)

Funny how anonymous posters love to be snarky.

Allison Bonner said...

sketchy...i would have made a couple of comments about him to them that would make them really jealous of you, just for fun. but, that's me ;o)

Carcich said...

OK, I am beating Conolly (an attractive producer that I am friendly with during the course of my day) to the punch here and coming clean. She turned me on to "I'm Just Sayin" and I guess you could say I've been a closet fan of the blog. I couldn't resist snarkily stirring up the pot a bit with a comment...;-)

I however am NOT the Chicken Bacon Wrap man. Call me Veggie (Subway) with L,T,O, Green Pepper and Olive Guy.

Lauren said...

That's so funny! I'm married to Miller Lite Longneck guy. Oh wait, that's not original...
You could have so much fun with that and Chris!

Robyn said...

Let's all give a warm welcome to Carcich for being brave enough to come out of the closet. :)

I look forward to signed snarkiness from you from now on.

Ian Leslie said...

That's priceless.
Sincerely,
Non-fat cinnamon latté one shot guy

Kristen said...

I'm hot caramel latte with whipped cream and sugar. Talk about sugar coma.

Bridget said...

That's kinda funny...is that seriously the cup they gave for him, with the heart? I hope they do that to all of their coffees. LOL!

Riley's Momma said...

LOL Okay now I don't feel so left out...

Jay said...

lol....
i didn't know that people recognized customers by what they buy... at the supermarket i am known as the Mommy to the Cutie because all the supermarket people know Jayla (just not her name)... i think its cute