Catching up with Seven Strangers


I stopped watching The Real World five seasons ago. Austin, Denver, Key West, these locations mean nothing to me. I didn’t even know there was a Sydney season. But while channel-flipping the other night I came across the “Real World Awards Bash” on MTV and was instantly sucked in. Back to the drama, the hookups, the insanely narcissistic cast members. I couldn’t get enough of seeing what they look like now, and then reading online what they’re doing now. I was bummed that MTV didn’t bother to get a Then and Now update for every single former Real Worlder, because I think some of the more intriguing ones would never bother to attend such a pathetic “bash.”

Still, there were a few nuggets I gleaned from watching part of the show (and checking out some stuff online). For anyone else out there who used to be a fan, but then grew out of it, here's some of what I discovered:

• Eric Nies (New York) showed up to the bash looking like they’d just rescued him from three years on a deserted island where he spent his time eating beetles and talking to a volleyball. Yo Eric, would it’a killed ya to shower and shave?!

• Pam and Judd (San Francisco): Still married. Still not diggin’ the Puck.

• Teck (Hawaii) was on an episode of “Friends.” Teck?

• I had no idea Frankie (San Diego) died last year, due to complications from cystic fibrosis. She was 25.

• Any guy who was known for his locks on his particular season has shaved himself bald. Landon (Philly), CT (Paris), Teck (Hawaii), Adam (Paris), Malik (Back to NY)... it looked like a Marine Recruiting Officer had breezed through town.

• Coral (Back to NY) is still a bitch. Oh, and apparently she’s now a lesbian.

• Steven (Seattle) was there with his “longtime partner” and fiance, Sheldon. Way to call that one, Irene.

• Beth (Los Angeles) is still showing up to these things. She did nothing for her season, nobody has liked her on any Challenge or Gauntlet, yet she continues to cling to whatever marginal spotlight she can throw herself under on MTV.

• Amaya (Hawaii) is now a brunette. I didn’t hear her say one thing. I still found her annoying. If you think I’m judging her too harshly, here’s the text accompanying her “now” photo online: “At KarmaAir.com, an Internet radio station, Amaya Brecher co-hosts The Cosmic Sutra, in which she and a psychic discuss ‘why things are the way they are based on the stars,’ and Stargazing, a gossip show about how celebs can ‘use planetary activity to their advantage.’” You dodged a bullet there, Colin.

6 comments:

Heather said...

You crack me up.
I can't remember any of their names. But I was a fan of Real World when it first came out. Now, it's like everything else that's out there.
Coral ... ick ... can you say truck stop prostitute? She's a petri dish of venereal diseases.

Kim said...

Sad. I've watched practically every season either On Demand or in marathons, but evidently haven't retained any of it. I don't know who any of these people are...except the a-holes. Coral, Puck.. I know who they are. So maybe that whole obnoxious ploy really does help make a name for yourself...

maureen said...

this update was fantastic, because i missed the awards bash. it will likely be on 5,000 more times this week, but i'm positive you hit the highlights! the comment about stephen was priceless.

bridge said...

ha ha that was great! I used to watch the real world back in the day too...I think my last one was Hawaii. Great update, you crack me up!

Sheila said...

WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS SHOW???? I remember each and every person listed here (and why I hated most of them). I will be setting the DVR for this puppy, rest assured....

Robyn said...

This post was written entirely with you in mind, Sheil. Glad I could help. The show is atrocious; you'll eat it up, just like I did.

BTW, did you watch RW: Austin? It won "Best Season."