milestones


I just got done reading one of those “Your 8-month-old’s Development” lists, which always sort of freak me out. It drives Chris crazy. According to the “experts,” my son should be waving bye-bye, saying “mama” or “dada,” crawling, standing, pulling himself up onto his feet, and playing pattycake.
Kostyn does none of these things.
Every month this makes me feel like a failure, because I’m the one home with him all the time. Should I be doing something that I’m not? I play pattycake with him, and he loves it, but he doesn’t clap by himself. We wave to him all the time, but he has yet to wag his little fingers back at me. We practice “mama” and “dada” and lots of other words, but so far he isn’t addressing us with anything other than smiles.
I help him when he’s struggling to get on all fours from a sitting position, but that’s as far as he can go. When he tries to move forward, he slumps onto his tummy. And when he’s on his tummy, he seems to only move backwards or pivot around in a circle, which really pisses him off.
Chris says he’ll do these things on his own time, when he’s ready, and I know this. The disclaimers at the bottom of these monthly lists always say that, too. But still, it’s hard to read about all the things that other babies his age have already mastered.
So I wallowed in worry for a few minutes this evening, and then I started to think about all the things he CAN do.
He smiles and laughs and shrieks with joy on a regular basis.
He has mastered the ability to grab onto a single Cheerio and put it in his mouth. (Sounds simple, but it’s quite a trick for tiny fingers.)
He drinks from a shot glass.
When we sit down to read books, I always hold two out in front of him and he studies them both and then puts his hands on the one he wants me to read.
When I read to him, he turns the pages for me.
When he listens to Chris play his conga drum, he moves his head side to side repeatedly, as if he’s grooving to the music.
Sometimes when we’re playing he’ll stop what he’s doing for a second, lean into me for a hug, and then start playing again.
This morning he blew raspberries on my tummy, the way I’ve done to his countless times.
He knows precisely how to steal my heart over and over, every day.
There. I feel better now.

10 comments:

Tara said...

Wow. That list is pretty tough stuff! Gracie isn't crawling, either. You should see her, actually, and some day, I will catch her in the act on film. She does this weird thing where she kinda crawls with one arm and leg and kinda sits with the other. It's so bizarre. Anyway, K-man WILL catch up! "Normal" in children is huge, and I guarantee you that he's totally within it. Don't forget, too, that he started a little behind with all of that muscle stuff, so he's really probably way ahead in terms of his development. KWIM?

Just to compare, which I know we aren't supposed to do -

If given a Cheerio, Grace palms it for a while and then loses it to the floor. She can't feed herself anything smaller than a Club cracker, and she loses that once it's about half gone.

Grace refuses to make a choice, instead taking both of whatever. She also takes toys from others at day care (a fact I sadly proclaim).

Grace won't sit in front of a book. Ever.

Turn pages? Grace shreds pages as effectively as a shredder only with smaller pieces.

Hugs? Whatever. Grace is too busy. Keep those lips away from her, too.

Grace does blow raspberries, but she typically reserves them for when I put something in her mouth that she doesn't like.

So, in conclusion, feel better. He's doing fine. Be glad he's mellow. :)

Tara said...

I'm going to blog about this. Forgive me for being a copy cat! :) !!!

Heather said...

Don't worry, Robyn. I'm 31 and I can't do any of those things!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kim said...

Throw out those stupid books or reading those internet sites, or whatever you're doing. Nicky was always behind the curve on that stuff too. He didn't roll over when he was supposed to. It took forever for him to be able to stand up on his own (He walked first.) And he was 15 mos. before he started walking.

But now, he's 2 1/2 and he recognizes every letter of the alphabet and all the numbers from 1 through 12. In my visit to preschools, I've learned that some kids don't even know that at 4.

So don't fret. It's not worth it. And those lists mean nothing.

Tara said...

I'm not stalking, I swear. But I am writing my own blog entry, and I came across these websites. They will make you feel better.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-language-communication-developmental-dela_6734.bc

http://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-physical-developmental-delay_6720.bc

http://www.babycenter.com/0_milestone-chart-7-to-12-months_1496587.bc

Hedgehog said...

Are you sure this is your kid? I've done some analysis on the photo and I have a few questions.

See below for an explanation.

http://www.myheritagefiles.com/video/I/28/he3k87_58769035026a74yrctqv87

Robyn said...

Tara and Whitey - The links don't work and I'm terribly curious about both. Please email them to me!

=) said...

Murph doesn't wave or talk yet either. Chief is proud of the fact that he has made the Da-Da sound. But he doesn't refer to Chief as such (maybe he knows something I don't know). I beg him to say Ma ma. He will get real quiet like he is thinking about it.... then will burst out saying buh buh buh.

FYI--My doc told me that by 9 months they will probably be waving and saying those things. That gives us almost a whole month! Look at how much they can accomplish in that time!

katy kat said...

Jesse does none of these things either!!!